I want to start this post by saying stating that Brendon and I DID NOT GO to any birthing classes. In part because I didn’t want to poison my brain on how hard it would be. In part because I wanted to experience this the first time when I was in the delivery room. My entire pregnancy I told myself that labor would be easy and I told myself that no matter what the end goal was our baby and we didn’t want to put pressure on myself and Brendon was open to whatever I needed in the moments of labor. I kept telling everyone I met Im not worried about it I think she’ll be like 3 pushes and come out and it won’t even hurt.
I did watch a few youtube videos on labor but nothing that talked about pain and nothing that mentioned any hard labor or difficult labor or labor pains etc. as soon as it did I turned the video off.
Bottom line I wanted to go into labor with an open mind and no expectations!
The day we went into labor, yes ladies I said WE, sorry but Brendon was just as big a part of this as I was. No he didn’t push or feel the burn but he was by my side the entire time he didn’t sleep and he had to help me work through each contraction to have the mental ability to do this. I am so blessed to have him and he showed me again how much of a man and a partner he really is! I have a new respect for him.
Well the day we went into labor I felt like I was going to have baby today. I just knew. My contractions were close and painful. My body was slow, tired, and felt heavy, I actually felt like I was dragging the entire morning. I started bad contractions at 5am. I had a doctors appointment and an appointment for another NST in the afternoon, Brendons mom and my sister and mom were on their way to come out for the birth and to help. This was going to happen today, I was so excited even through the pain, I think so excited that the nurses all thought I was a bit crazy and that there was no way I was going to have baby today. They all told me I was calm, excited, smiling, beaming, and seemed like I wasn’t even going to have a baby. I knew she was coming, mothers intuition. I had my appointments and was dilated 3cm! YAHOO! My OB told me I was going to have the baby that night she told me we could stay and go to labor and delivery or go home and rest and try to take my mind off of everything. So living a mile from the hospital I decided to go home and wait it out. I couldn’t rest, between contractions and excitement I couldn’t even lay my head down. I was REALLY tired but then a contraction would come and it was painful so I worked my little energy into breathing with the contractions and Brendon would literally rub and squeeze my feet every contraction. This was amazing make your partner do this! TRUST ME LADIES! The hours past and when I started to REALLY feel contractions I went back to L&D I was dilated to 4cm UGH but baby was low and my water bag was tight. This was around 8pm and I was just ready to start everything, I was in pain and nervous now and anxious to meet my baby. The OB on call said I could stay or go home again but I wanted to be at home where I was more comfortable at least for a few hours. 9:30pm OUCH! still hanging on. To cope with these contractions we used a heating pad, Brendons rubbing of my feet, yoga breathing (deep breaths in and out), positive thinking and coaching from Brendon (examples: just think your going to have baby after this) and just pushing through. We then watched the American Idol finale so that helped distract me. 10:30 unbearable contractions, Brendon and I jump into the warm shower and I take 2 Tylenol. This helps temporally, he tries to set up a bath for me but this just didn’t help, I got to hot and felt awful, I couldn’t relax so I went down to bed to try to rest a bit, I swear I heard a pop(it probably was in my head) but I told him we had to go back to the hospital at 12. We arrive in the ER and they send us up to L&D. I am dilated 9cm! HECK YES BABY IS COMING! We also had just passed the most crucial parts of dilation from 7-9cm so now its smoother sailing, or so I thought. Once we were sent to a room it started, going from 9-10cm dilation and this lasted hours or so it felt, the contractions at this point were really hard but with the help of our nurse April who I swear is the contraction whisper and Brendon I would inhale and blow the contraction out. Brendon held my hips at every contraction and this also helped. I was on my knees holding onto a bed and squeezing an empty lotion bottle though the contractions, I listened to relaxing music, April brought lavender essential oil to me and we worked through all the contractions. I actually didn’t mind them, everyone was joking with me about how well I was doing and how easy I made labor seem. Finally my water broke and the pushes started up. Yes, people contractions are NOTHING compared to when you actually have to push.
This is me pre-hospital room dilated about 9cm! I don’t look very happy
Take note again contractions are nothing compared with when you have to push. So I started the pushing around 5:30am. This was intense! It happened without me trying my body was just pushing my baby girl wanted out of womb. So we started with the pushing I tried hands and knees, I tried my original birthing plan of squatting and letting gravity do its thing but I just didn’t know how to push, I was trying to relax into these pushes and it wasn’t helping. I tried one leg up one leg down, that was a disaster. So I tried facing the wall on my knees and I couldn’t get a push out. So we had to go on my back with my legs up, the nurse grabbed one leg and Brendon grabbed the other leg and coached me through the pushes. I was so tired, at this point, I just wanted this to be over. I had to literally give it everything I had at that second to push through these pushes. Finally I figured out how to push and my daughters head was crowning. Brendon said it was the most amazing thing he had seen. I however, was not having it, I sang I can do all things through Christ who strengths me in my head the entire time pushing. Out loud I kept telling everyone it burned and hurt and I needed a break but they told me to keep going. So I did finally, 2+hours into pushing out came my princess. I didn’t yell at my husband or cuss the entire time all I did was let out the 2 biggest screams of my life the pushes right before I gave birth and when my baby came out. My life will never be the same. Brendon and I cried. My mom, my sister and Brendons mom all cried. They were in the room while we were giving birth. I delivered my placenta, Brendon cut the cord, I had a minor tear on the side and we went skin to skin.
I never knew you could fall in love so quickly and that your heart would forever be changed. More on that in another post, but honestly just staring at my daughter has made me want to be a better person, it has made my heart so full I just look at how beautiful the world is and how blessed we are to have been given the gift of life. How something so small and innocent needs me so much for everything. She’s so beautiful and sweet I can’t express into a word that is big enough or pure enough for how much my heart feels toward her. I literally already did forget how painful birth was or how crazy my pregnancy was because I have my daughter. There are a million things I think of daily of whats next, but I put my faith in God that it will all work out. I just want to enjoy every little moment with her that we have because I know that they go by so quickly and before I know it she won’t even be a baby or a newborn. I started crying at Babies R Us because they have a keep sake box for her first little shoes, and her hospital band.
My final advice for a drug free natural birth is to have a strong partner. Maybe you need to take a class for your mental prep, maybe you need to have an epidural because you just can’t do it but don’t put expectations on your self. Have a strong partner with you who is just there to love and support you. Breathe through everything and tell yourself yes you can, because honesty you can do anything you put your mind to.
Oh and mama is doing well too! Im ready to work out and resume normal activity! My tear is better and no bad constipation I didn’t even poo during labor. I don’t feel like I just gave birth, however, the no sleep baby up all night thing isn’t easy! Im drinking ALOT of water for my milk and my nipples are bleeding and cracked 😦 but thats ok! Coconut oil and mamas love have helped but OUCH bleeding scaby nipples are not fun at all, however, I will take them for the opportunity to breast feed. I have been using amazing postpartum bands, I choose mama strut and I LOVE IT! Its comfy I started to wear it in the hospital the day of delivery and my squish is almost gone, bleeding is better and I feel like everything is getting back to normal. I also have been using all the fun baby carries and trying out all my baby items! Ill post more about that too! 🙂 In the hospital the only two things I wore were my mama strut(comes with shorts) and my nursing cape & nursing bra. At home I like to get dressed up for Brendon but have been lax lately because were so tired! Baby is sleeping about 2hours then she feeds then she sleeps and we change her.